Same old...

Greetings!
You know what is really strange? Replying to the questions "how are things?" and replying with "oh, same old, not really too much new happening, work, the gym, church." That is a strange thing to reply when living in a foreign country, because up till just a little while ago, nothing was same old, everything was new. Always. Nothing seemed normal, or comfortable. I think I am thankful for this, because it could just possibly mean that I have reached some sort of adjustment. I'm not positive I'm exactly completely adjusted, but things have become enough routine that I kind of am learning what to expect. I can't even say that I love my work environment. I may have adjusted, but it doesn't mean I really appreciate it, however, at it makes dealing with it a lot easier and better. The problem with this is, it makes me wonder if I'm doing enough to keep things mixed up.

For example, I've gotten this bug that makes me want to get moving and traveling. I haven't left Siguatepeque since my parents left. I feel that I should be taking advantage of my location and seeing more of the country, but I am left with the question "Why and with whom?" I have no travel partner, and it kind of scares me to think of taking off traveling to an unknown location alone. Probably not recommendable either. And perhaps this is a lesson to me of identifying with the Honduran. You'd be surprised to hear how many folks here have never left Honduras, it's small. But it takes money to leave, and of course requires a reason.

I think I want to touch the subject of machismo. According to Mirriam Webster, Machismo is: 1) a strong sense of masculine pride : an exaggerated masculinity 2)an exaggerated or exhilarating sense of power or strength. Machismo is something that is very apparent in the Latino culture, and Honduras is not any different. Many households are dominated by the father/husband, as are in many cultures. I would say it's fair to say that there is a lot of machismo in the traditional Mennonite household. Now, I'm not saying anything against having male leadership in the house, as I see that as a necessary thing. The problem that I see most of all, is that I see the males having pure dominance, without any sort of goodness to back that up. I see it in the way they treat the women. The male's desires and needs always come first, and many times he does not care for the emotions, or even the good of the woman. I see it in the way they treat their girlfriends when they date. I see it in their marriages. I see it in the way they cat call when we walk down the street. But the real kicker is that I see so many men impregnating women, and then disappearing, with no responsibility whatsoever. And it's the woman who gets the public shame for it. And then the man gets commended for how many different children he has planted, with no one asking just how many of those children he helped support, how many of them he clothes, or educated, or was a fatherly presence to. But he must be a real man if he has "fathered" 12 children.
Just tonight I was talking with a very friendly bubbly woman. A daughter of one of my patients. She mentioned the fact that she gets depressed a lot. So, feeling brave I asked her why. She talked about how her machisto husband is very jealous, and does not give her any freedom in her life, not to have friends, not to live her life for her own, and she ends up feeling very alone, and sad. And I think to myself, this is the story of SO many Honduran woman. Another aspect in many households is the infidelity of the man. This is so typical, and I believe it comes out of the thought that "the man should get what the man wants, no matter how much that will hurt his wife."
Thank God not all Latinos are like this, but I would say my complaint right now is that it has such a hold on society here. The women play into it, because that is what they have seen in their histories, and no one has ever told them that they deserve to be treated better. I suppose likewise, the history keeps repeating itself in the man because that is what he was raised in, and his parents never told him to take a different path, because that is what they live as well. I suppose if no one ever raises your consciousness to something, you'll never notice the wrong in it. I guess I feel sorry for the Honduran woman who has to fight this movement everyday, or if she decides to not fight it, than she just accepts it and lives the consequences.
Those are just some reflections. Don't get me wrong, I like a lot of things about Latino culture, but this is one thing that I loathe. I see it hurting the self-esteem of woman all over, I see it hurting my own sometimes. As I get more adjusted here, one has to endure the crappy things about the host culture too, and accepting the poor treatment of woman is something that really bothers me a lot. It's wrong, and really, I don't see the church addressing the issue either.
Matters for prayer:
-My friend Carmen who is having some issues with her pregnancy, that she will feel God's presence close, and that his will be done.
-For my work at the hospital, that I may be able to contribute something positive everyday/every shift.
-Relationship/friendship building
-God's guidance in where I might put my efforts in my last 9 months here.
-Leadership in the hospital, that the people will be able to improve the hospital attendance. We need more patients, and more business, and good management of what we do have.

As always, I love seeing your posts, and any thoughts you might have about this post. Thanks for your continued prayers and support. I love you!!! Thanks for remembering me, and reading my blog.