Through the good and the bad....

Heidy Ho, hola hola hola. I find myself back again after a time of being extinct. Thanks for bearing with me. Man, time passes fast.

I'm going to summarize this updates in points:
1) Trip to Belize to renew passport visa
2) Learning to become the charge nurse on the floor
3) New baby in the Plank family: aka. I'm an aunt!
4) Haven't started teaching yet, also haven't started planning, which I'm embarrassed about. Working full time is hard to have the energy left to use your free time to plan, but I really truly am stoked about it!

So, in general, pretty good spirits. It has been really hard for me to not be present in Iowa with Allyce, my sister, while she went through labor, delivery, and the adjustment of moving home with the new little baby (Eva Maria, 7 lbs 3 oz). I didn't know Allyce was pregnant when I left for Honduras. So, it was definitely an unanticipated sacrifice. It's strange, because when other babies have been born, I've always kind of been like "big deal." But this baby is different. It's really surreal to see this beautiful little girl in pictures and understand that this little human being is of my blood, and of my sister. I guess I just feel like I'm missing out, and that I would like to be there to help Allyce. It also kind of set in as to how much more time I will be here.

Don't get me wrong. I really do like Honduras in general. I do not regret committing 2 years here. But some difficult and frustrating experiences have presented here. Frustration with the culture, frustration with my work facility, with the community in which I live, frustration with the everyday happenings of violence, robberies, assaults, and fights, frustration with communication, frustration with being so separated from my friends and family at home. Experienced expats can laugh at me, but I think I have a right to think these things. I'm pretty new at this living in another country thing, even if it has been 8 months. I'm just not really sure how to deal with this stuff. Do I accept the frustration? When is it worth it, or even acceptable to try to change the source of frustration? How much can one really add to an established facility as a newbie? Just really difficult questions. Sometimes i'm embarrassed to state my thoughts b/c they may just seem kind of ignorant and stupid. I mean, what were you expecting, Malerie? You went to a third world country, were you hoping for cheese and wine?

I took an obligatory week trip to Belize, which was pretty great. Would have liked to travel with a good friend, but it turned out fine, apart from the fact that I lost my camera on the way back. I tell you, I have the worst luck with cameras, EVER! I took a ferry across the gulf of Mexico and landed in Dangriga, Belize. By far the WORST boat ride ever. Just really really rough. But on this trip I was introduced to the world of international travelers: European, Brits, Australians, Belizeans. Very cool. It's quite impressive how many languages these people can speak! I'm not sure that I am cut out for long term (talking 3-4 months of free international travel). I like to travel, but I also like to be at home with internet and phone access, not living out of a backpack.

The last month or two I got trained to manage the floor during the shift and be charge nurse. My Spanish is improving, but still proves to be a pretty big challenge sometimes, but thank God, the girls are learning the way they need to speak to me so that I can understand what they are telling me. It was a good challenge, and made me appreciate the chillness of the other shifts when I'm not charge nurse. But it was just nice to be challenged again, and help me utilize my critical thinking skills. i find myself enjoying Intensive Care as well, which really doesn't end up being too high acuity, but usually a busy shift, which I like. I think little by little respect is won between individuals, which always feels great when you feel like one more coworker was won over to having report and trust. Of course with that, always comes the threat of breaking that trust, which is kind of scary too.

The doctor I am living with came back from his 5 month trip to the U.S. to visit his sons and family. So it's nice to not be living in this big house alone, but of course will be an adjustment after living alone for a while.

Well, I think that is about the end of this post. Hope you are all well. I haven't forgotten you. As always, thank you for your letters, thoughts, prayers. This month I received a care package and a snail mail letter from some friends, and I about died from glee. :)
Take care!