Sunday, August 29, 2010
to be noted...no pics=boring
I apologize for the boring visual of this blog. stupidly, somewhere on the way to the U.S. in June, I lost a baggie I had of my camera charger, my Ipod cord, and along with that, my camera cord to download pics. Blug. I was actually going to do that tonight too. Lame. Maybe I'll have to see if I can order another online and send it down with one of you when you come to visit. ;)
6 months in...
So I am a half a year into this. Time is so relative so I don't really know if it's gone fast or slow. Either way, half-way is certainly 182.5 days, so whether or not it's gone slow, it doesn't matter.
My good friend Brianna visited me this past week. I had some days off, and we went to the island of Utila and enjoyed the sun and sea for a couple days, and then spent the last 7 days here in Siguatepeque. I worked mornings, and she either relaxed, did some of her own work, or she got involved in volunteering at some local organizations. I was blessed to have a friend from the states, who knows me well, to now know where I dwell, and what are some of the challenges I am facing.
Today (Sunday) I found myself at church twice, napping 2 hours in between, and surprised to have a last minute call from some friends who wanted to come over and hang out. It was a good day, even though I was sad to send Brianna off, but my friends filled that gap, and I am thankful. We ate "catrachos" with is a tostado (corn tortilla thinger) with beans, parmesan cheese, and a salsa-like mixture called Chismol. Catrachos is the slang word for a Honduran person. Spanish can be pretty fun.
I'm not going to lie. It was a tough week that just passed. Morning shift is always a struggle with some of the dynamics of staff relationships, and really just me trying to figure out what is my role at this hospital. What are their goals, what are mine? How do I be effective without stomping on feet? What are my abilities anyways? Am I capable of teaching nursing students with my level of Spanish? What does student supervision mean? If I am not capable, am I stuck washing beds and doing the work of any other Honduran nursing assistant can do? I feel like I came on this with a humble heart, but the level of nursing work I am doing has certainly taken a beating on my pride. I have had to stop and ask myself, "just what am I doing this for and for whom? Am I truly doing this for God, or did I actually come to do this for myself?"
And what does effectiveness mean? Change? Well, that's not going to happen. I know it's not my job to change the hospital, but I see that it is my position (tactfully and respectfully of course, always) to put in my opinion. After all, I am an employee, a registered nurse with my bachelor's degree. It's tough. As an outsider, where are my rights, what are my responsibilities? Yeah, not sure. Living in another culture, much less working in a completely different system is very very complex. The complexity of language, communication, culture, change, healthcare, and most of all, one's character, and how they healthily deal with all of those things. This, my friends, is the thorn in my flesh. Am I faithful enough to complete this task just exactly how Jesus Christ is calling me to? Every step? What if it means doing exactly what I am doing now? Because it might be. The change must be the way I deal with it, the way I process it, and the way I choose to exert myself in a way that is actually helpful to this. I feel like I need a master's degree or something to do this. But then again, I might be in the exact same position.
On another note, little by little, I continue to meet new folks, establish new friendships, and the loneliness of living alone diminishes some. I know that God is calling me to spend more time centering myself in quiet times with him. I'm starting to find people who I can trust in, people who care about me genuinely, and that is a wonderful thing. It makes all the difference, actually. I do find myself missing my friends and family from home, but I am slowly building a community here, which is truly rich, and really helps me to grow. It's pretty inspiring meeting people from all areas of the world, and getting their input in issues. I like to know how others really truly see North Americans, and understand the reason behind it. I like to see how they approach their social issues, healthcare, education, etc. I tell you, nothing expands your world view quite as much as meeting people from all over. I feel like if work was going smoother, this would be my dream 2 years! :) But I believe that God's plan is perfect, and staying in that will truly prove to be a very rewarding experience. Also, Spanish--still struggling, but I'm finding little by little I'm understanding larger quantities of conversations, which is obviously very encouraging.
anyways, what's new with you?
Love Malerie
My good friend Brianna visited me this past week. I had some days off, and we went to the island of Utila and enjoyed the sun and sea for a couple days, and then spent the last 7 days here in Siguatepeque. I worked mornings, and she either relaxed, did some of her own work, or she got involved in volunteering at some local organizations. I was blessed to have a friend from the states, who knows me well, to now know where I dwell, and what are some of the challenges I am facing.
Today (Sunday) I found myself at church twice, napping 2 hours in between, and surprised to have a last minute call from some friends who wanted to come over and hang out. It was a good day, even though I was sad to send Brianna off, but my friends filled that gap, and I am thankful. We ate "catrachos" with is a tostado (corn tortilla thinger) with beans, parmesan cheese, and a salsa-like mixture called Chismol. Catrachos is the slang word for a Honduran person. Spanish can be pretty fun.
I'm not going to lie. It was a tough week that just passed. Morning shift is always a struggle with some of the dynamics of staff relationships, and really just me trying to figure out what is my role at this hospital. What are their goals, what are mine? How do I be effective without stomping on feet? What are my abilities anyways? Am I capable of teaching nursing students with my level of Spanish? What does student supervision mean? If I am not capable, am I stuck washing beds and doing the work of any other Honduran nursing assistant can do? I feel like I came on this with a humble heart, but the level of nursing work I am doing has certainly taken a beating on my pride. I have had to stop and ask myself, "just what am I doing this for and for whom? Am I truly doing this for God, or did I actually come to do this for myself?"
And what does effectiveness mean? Change? Well, that's not going to happen. I know it's not my job to change the hospital, but I see that it is my position (tactfully and respectfully of course, always) to put in my opinion. After all, I am an employee, a registered nurse with my bachelor's degree. It's tough. As an outsider, where are my rights, what are my responsibilities? Yeah, not sure. Living in another culture, much less working in a completely different system is very very complex. The complexity of language, communication, culture, change, healthcare, and most of all, one's character, and how they healthily deal with all of those things. This, my friends, is the thorn in my flesh. Am I faithful enough to complete this task just exactly how Jesus Christ is calling me to? Every step? What if it means doing exactly what I am doing now? Because it might be. The change must be the way I deal with it, the way I process it, and the way I choose to exert myself in a way that is actually helpful to this. I feel like I need a master's degree or something to do this. But then again, I might be in the exact same position.
On another note, little by little, I continue to meet new folks, establish new friendships, and the loneliness of living alone diminishes some. I know that God is calling me to spend more time centering myself in quiet times with him. I'm starting to find people who I can trust in, people who care about me genuinely, and that is a wonderful thing. It makes all the difference, actually. I do find myself missing my friends and family from home, but I am slowly building a community here, which is truly rich, and really helps me to grow. It's pretty inspiring meeting people from all areas of the world, and getting their input in issues. I like to know how others really truly see North Americans, and understand the reason behind it. I like to see how they approach their social issues, healthcare, education, etc. I tell you, nothing expands your world view quite as much as meeting people from all over. I feel like if work was going smoother, this would be my dream 2 years! :) But I believe that God's plan is perfect, and staying in that will truly prove to be a very rewarding experience. Also, Spanish--still struggling, but I'm finding little by little I'm understanding larger quantities of conversations, which is obviously very encouraging.
anyways, what's new with you?
Love Malerie
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
hay un accidente!
Last night I found myself in the emergency on my first evening training there. Not that it is so different from other shifts, but I surely could not manage it if I had to work on my own, so this week is designated for the ER. Maybe it's the luck I bring or something, but around maybe 3:00 pm or so, we received 14 people coming in from a car wreck. It was not clear to me until the end of the whole ordeal what exactly had happened. But folks from the more rural areas hop on a pick up truck in the back and ride in together. So if one truck overturns, you've got a 14-victim accident. We got people coming in from pickups and cars, and all sorts of things. Many just got some pretty harsh road burns, others had dislocated shoulders, others had some pretty bad cuts on their head and face. There was a baby who was so very lucky to have made it out with some scratches.
What really stunk was that I felt like I didn't know the first thing to do. I suppose there is no better way to learn than when learning experiences present themselves. So it was taking vital signs (manually of course with a BP cuff) and taping them to the legs of the patients, and then Dr.s come in and assess the worst ones first, and from then on it's prioritization as to who is the most grave. After vital signs, it's getting basins with soap and water, and trying to wash people up a little, calm them down, and put gauze on their cuts. Then, it's the dr.s turn to write up a reference, and write any orders for IV fluids if they see it necessary, and get them ready to ship off to a hospital that is better equipped for these folks. Also, most of these folks cannot afford a private hospital, so that is another factor one considers when thinking about referring.
All that said, I think everyone is going to be okay with some stitches, casts, immobilizers, rest, IV fluids, and observation. It was chaos. Maybe not for everyone else, but for me with my Spanish levels, and newby levels of understanding a) Emergency care b) Hospital Evangelico's way of treating mass emergency c) students and nurses and doctors working together, it was chaos and confusion. I tried to just be available, and tried to step back and observe, and assess if someone needed to be watched more carefully and was being overlooked due to other distractions. Also, once in a while I went and checked on folks to make sure they knew we were watching them, and caring for them. Some of them were pretty scared. Two girls not over the age of probably 14 were there without their parents, obviously scared. A pregnant woman kept asking what had happened to her. I don't know. It could have been my newness to trauma and emergencies.
One success, I didn't get dizzy and have the feeling of fainting! Usually when I see ripped up skin and bloody faces, I start to get a little whoosy, but maybe it's more like when one is a passenger they get carsick, but not when driving. Maybe it's something like that. Anyways, it was awesome. I think I could get the hang of this.
So, that's an insight into a very interesting evening shift for me. Stressful, but in the end, definitely a good learning experience.
Other happenings: Enjoying having other folks living with me at the house. Work is going pretty well. I found someone who wanted an English-speaking conversation partner, which has been a fun new contact/resource/friend for me. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. Those are always useful! I appreciate it all.
Love, Malerie
What really stunk was that I felt like I didn't know the first thing to do. I suppose there is no better way to learn than when learning experiences present themselves. So it was taking vital signs (manually of course with a BP cuff) and taping them to the legs of the patients, and then Dr.s come in and assess the worst ones first, and from then on it's prioritization as to who is the most grave. After vital signs, it's getting basins with soap and water, and trying to wash people up a little, calm them down, and put gauze on their cuts. Then, it's the dr.s turn to write up a reference, and write any orders for IV fluids if they see it necessary, and get them ready to ship off to a hospital that is better equipped for these folks. Also, most of these folks cannot afford a private hospital, so that is another factor one considers when thinking about referring.
All that said, I think everyone is going to be okay with some stitches, casts, immobilizers, rest, IV fluids, and observation. It was chaos. Maybe not for everyone else, but for me with my Spanish levels, and newby levels of understanding a) Emergency care b) Hospital Evangelico's way of treating mass emergency c) students and nurses and doctors working together, it was chaos and confusion. I tried to just be available, and tried to step back and observe, and assess if someone needed to be watched more carefully and was being overlooked due to other distractions. Also, once in a while I went and checked on folks to make sure they knew we were watching them, and caring for them. Some of them were pretty scared. Two girls not over the age of probably 14 were there without their parents, obviously scared. A pregnant woman kept asking what had happened to her. I don't know. It could have been my newness to trauma and emergencies.
One success, I didn't get dizzy and have the feeling of fainting! Usually when I see ripped up skin and bloody faces, I start to get a little whoosy, but maybe it's more like when one is a passenger they get carsick, but not when driving. Maybe it's something like that. Anyways, it was awesome. I think I could get the hang of this.
So, that's an insight into a very interesting evening shift for me. Stressful, but in the end, definitely a good learning experience.
Other happenings: Enjoying having other folks living with me at the house. Work is going pretty well. I found someone who wanted an English-speaking conversation partner, which has been a fun new contact/resource/friend for me. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. Those are always useful! I appreciate it all.
Love, Malerie
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