Orientation

I find myself on a Monday, 3rd day of orientation. A lot a lot of thoughts, feelings, and some tears I have encountered today. I am tired, and all I really want to do is sleep, but I'm finding the increasing need to journal, and process the thoughts that were rolling around in my head today.

I was acutely aware of the sacredness of the opportunity we have as we approach assignments abroad in service and missions. I was reminded what missions are about. Well, maybe rightly educated today by a pair of married, experienced missionaries who are very active not only abroad, but here in their own community in Harrisonburg in the world of missions. I will call them George and Mary. George started out their time of sharing with his testimony, saying that it does directly relate to missional approach. In a nutshell, George was called into ministry simply because of the joy and wonder and transformation he had found in his own salvation. It was not out of Christian criteria, or guilt, or obligation, but simply because Jesus had so radically intervened in his life and gave him hope and joy when he had none, when all other resources had been exhausted. After he made the realization, there was nothing else to do but to share that with others who lacked that power source of Christ.

So that first impacted me, as I have lost what missions exactly is. I have lost what "the good news" or the "gospel" truly is. It is nothing more but Christ coming into our lives and conforming us from people without hope, to people with true joy and love. Living in Christian influence my whole life, the post-modern world has certainly had its effect on me. I have faced the questions our post-modern society has proposed and failed to have answers. I have fallen into cynicism when people use words like "evangelism" and spreading the good news, and saving people for Jesus. but somehow I have still held onto this "call" to go abroad. How I got this far with a slightly tainted view of missions, I do not know. I mean, missions are super-complicated and that is for sure. There are a million dynamics one needs to study and consider before doing something like this, but I think I have been working so hard on those dynamics, but have been so badly failing at the heart of the matter. I think the heart of it is this: Christ has impacted my life. If nothing else, I am convinced that Jesus Christ is real, and for whatever reason, Christ has led me to serve in Siguatepeque, Honduras. The process is not a simple one, but I am going to work to serve to the best of what I can, with the guidance of the Higher Power. I don't even know yet what that all entails. But there isn't any other way. As they say, in Spanish. "Ni Modo." There's no other way.