So I try not to blog about the gloom and doom of Honduras. And I hope you won't read this as such. But I do want to share some of the thoughts I had yesterday.
I was reminiscing in my head yesterday as I left my house walking to go pick up some shirts I had left off at the house of the Señora who sewed my uniforms and has done some altering. Turns out I was supposed to call her to let her know that I wanted them done (even though I had left them there 2 months ago. I guess she figured I just didn't want them sitting around my house?? I don't know. But it was annoying, but kind of predictable, didn't even make me mad.) Also, my bike tire is punctures, and due to my lack of iniciative to get it fixed, I've been walking and taxing more, unfortunately. (mental note, GET THAT TIRE FIXED!) So anyways, I was walking past a health clinic on the road, and I heard an intense wailing and saw some family members sitting a lady down on the bench outside. I figured someone must have died. About an hour later, I climbed into a taxi who mentioned that a girl had been hit by a car and had died. It just struck me as strange. I know that Siguatepeque is small, but how did I have the casualty of figuring out the story behind that woman's wailing? The previous Saturday I was on my way to meeting some friends for dinner, and had driven in taxi past a pretty bad car wreck. But didn't really think much of it. When I arrived, I realized that those girls in that wreck were on their way to the same place I was going. The girls were in a taxi that had a drunk taxi driver in it that made a bad decision in driving. (imagine that.) One of the girls had a serious fracture of her pelvis, and had to go to the hospital. Later she got flown to Miami because the break was too complicated for any orthopedic doc here. She's a lucky girl that she is a foreigner and had good insurance. No Honduran could have done that.
I realized that it seems like these sorts of things are just much more "in your face, and close" than what I experience on a daily basis in the U.S. I have to say, that young 17 year Scottish girl had a super attitude about the whole situation. She plans on coming back to finish her year of teaching when she is recuperated. I'm not sure I would have had such a good attitude. Just incredible. No evil comments about the drunk taxi driver. I don't know if she was a Christian or not, but I have to say, that was quite a challenge for me.
Another instance: last week at the San Pedro Sula airport there was a shooting, and 6 were killed. That same day, my friend was flying back to Honduras from the U.S. He was there as it happened, thank God he was not caught in cross-fire or what have you.
I guess it kind of just blows my mind all of the tragedies in life that can come at anytime. It might take your life, or maybe not. But God has been so great with me. His grace has covered me from any sort of danger/assault thus far.
Prayer concerns:
-Continued guidance from God to help me know what steps to take next.
-Pray for the south of Honduras. They have gotten unstopping rain for the last week, and have had some serious flooding. People are out of their homes, and the roads are wrecked. Pray for safety, for provision, for hope, protection, and the stopping of the rain. My cousins are there, and say that their church folks have been staying under the roof for 3 days now. It is not an enclosed building. So just pray for them too.
As always, thank you for your continued prayers. I had no doubt they are being heard. Blessings, Malerie
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
August brings the heat
Greetings my friends,
I received a wonderful email this week from a friend in Iowa that was quite nice, but kind of put me to shame because she said, “I just finished reading your last blog, but that was from two months ago, so I would love to hear an update!” I realized that yes, it is indeed time to give an update.
Really things here continue on as routinely normal. I am doing the normal shifts of sometimes shift A: 5:45 am-2:15pm, or shift B: 1:45pm-9:30pm, or shift C: 9:00 pm-6:15 am. Though nursing here seems to be a different world, there are some things about nursing that are universal: stinky shifts! I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop complaining about the stinky shifts we end up working. Weekends, holidays, nights, etc. Should have picked a different career, I guess. I continue also in my shifts to do some supervision of the especially new first years on the floor.
My recent accomplishment at the hospital was a day of education with the nurses and students on Diabetes. One of the other professional nurses and I gave an interactive day of exploring Diabetes as an illness with a focus on nursing care and education of the Diabetic patient. It was kind of tiring for me, especially as the night before the first day (there were 3) I got a nice head cold that threatened to wipe me out. Upon completing the third day, however, I had a nice feeling of satisfaction, knowing that one year ago, I no way could have done that with my less than adequate Spanish at the time. We got good feedback, and one always hopes that the theory will be put into practice. Also, as a college grad from EMU, we always learned the concept of empowerment. I could be talking idealistically, but I like the idea that perhaps a few more nurses are a tiny bit more “empowered” to educate others on the diabetic diet, exercise, self-cares, etc; even if it is just their own mother or grandparents, etc.
Things I am looking forward to that are coming up: In September I plan on taking a trip to visit my dear friends in Nicaragua Adam and Marisa, who are doing MCC for 3 years there. I am also hoping to stop in Choluteca, Honduras to visit my cousins Mark and Melanie who are serving there along with their children. I have found lately that I need some time spent away from Siguatepeque, and some time to reflect on my time here with people I know and love, and people who understand me and my culture, including my Mennonite beliefs. So I am definitely looking forward to a little time on the beach away from the routine of my daily life.
I also am looking forward to a missionary conference at the end of September with the missionaries of Honduras. The guest speaker will be Elizabeth Elliot’s brother, who supposedly is really great. Hopefully it will be a good time of encouragement between other foreigners serving in Honduras, and a time of restoration, and refocusing. I have high hopes. I often downplay the importance of rubbing shoulders with people who are like you when you are in a foreign land. Although I have enjoyed the independence I have here as the only VMMer here, I often feel very solo, and am thankful for the input I have of other Christian expats here.
Some struggles of Honduras: There are a lot, but to list a few of them.
1. The everlasting fight against lack of water. I will never ever EVER take for granted a hot high pressure shower. Most of the time, it’s a cold bucket bath for me. It’s frustrating. But I live in Honduras, why should I be any different from any other Honduran who occasionally has water.
2. Ever-present cultural differences. One becomes aware of how great cultural differences can be whether it be in friendships, in interactions with the opposite gender, in the professional world, or in church. Especially in the healthcare field, one finds the typical myths a people/culture has. I am going to share some of them with you further down. It is so hard sometimes to accept habits and beliefs of a different culture when they are directly contrasting to your own or seem to be just hokey.
3. Danger. I get tired of the restraints this puts on my life. I have to watch how much money I carry with me and if my purse is appropriate for where I am going. One has to plan pretty far ahead if you want to do something fun some night, because once it’s dark and you don’t have a car it is a rare time you will find anyone who would venture out with you. Hondurans are more wary than Americans actually.
4. A lot of exposure to death. I have never been exposed to such a high rate of murders. Weekly you hear of this or that assassination, etc. We have a lot of emergencies come into the hospital with wounded patient from knife wounds, machete wounds, or bullet wounds. Many of them die and I get tired of them. It’s one thing if they are in a gang; one expects those sorts of things. It’s another thing when someone comes in having been shot by someone who was robbing them for their cell phone or what not. Even worse is when someone tries to step in to help someone else getting robbed and they get shot. The violence is just ridiculous here. Human life is not valued, and people don’t think twice to take a life. It’s quite a shame. It’s this huge cycle of: poverty, lack of sanitary facilities, illness, and lack of education. This leads to young, single mothers, delinquent children, crime, drugs, and more poverty. When one looks at the big picture, it can seem like a pretty desperate situation. So much needless death, however, can be quite disconcerting and troubling and quite angering as well.
5. Seeing high rates of very very young and single mothers and children conceived between people who had no intention of investing their lives into making a child’s life beautiful. It seems like one after another is born into a situation with little opportunity to better oneself, maybe to a mother who may or may not be able to care for the baby. The thing is that there is so much emphasis placed on having children in this culture. It seems a little whack to me that people ask me if I have children, but not if I am married.
6. Living with machismo. I already posted on this one pretty heavily in another post.
So talking about interesting cultural beliefs, here are some of the popular ones amongst many:
-A woman should not eat rice or eggs or cheese (amongst others) after giving birth. Neither should she bathe for 40 days afterwards. (wrong, wrong, wrong. Sorry, there is no cultural sensitivity here. Those are all just bad ideas. Hygiene and a balanced diet are very important post-partum.)
-On newborns, many of the women believe that you need to put a red bracelet on the baby’s ankle or wrist to protect it from the “mal ojo” or the evil eye. This is to say that someone could give your baby the “evil eye” and make your baby sick. Many also bring along a “fajuelo” or a piece of cloth to wrap around the baby’s belly and umbilical stump to do, well, I still don’t know what it’s supposed to do. But you can buy factory-made fajuelos and people from all socio-economic levels use them. Our pediatrician advises against them.
-About anything can “hacerte daño,” or “do you harm.” Wearing a bra to bed, washing your hands with cold water after ironing, eating this or that, having a fan or the A/C turned on.
-People have all sorts of beliefs and tactics to elevate your hemoglobin and hematocrit, lower your blood pressure, fix your problem with “sugar” or Diabetes. My favorite is the case of “embacho.” Again, not exactly sure what it is, but when someone is sick with gastro problems, or stomach issues, or I don’t know what all, you can go to someone to “sobar” you. They give you a bitter drink (pulgante) which is a laxative, and they do some sort of massage. The funniest thing about it all, I actually came close to really consider trying it. If you’ve kept up with blogs and Facebook status updates, you will see that in the last 1 ½ years I have had a heck of a time with gastrointestinal infections. It could be that I don’t wash my veggies well, or that I ate something bad off of the street, or drank contaminated water, or who even knows? But one time I just was not feeling better, felt bloated all of the time, and it wouldn’t go away. I went to the gym, and ended up feeling better after exercising a good bit. Most doctors say that “sobando” is completely bogus. But some people swear by it, having been helped by it when no modern medicine did. But as our surgeon at the hospital says, “If you think it will help you do it, or think it will “hacerte daño” don’t.”
I find myself at times being slightly pretentious and rolling my eyes at these “stupid myths.” But I imagine that sub-consciously I have a good bit of my own stupid myths that I believe. Can anyone list any of these that we have as North Americans in our growing up and beliefs?
Other things I am learning have to do with personal growth. I am relearning the immense mercy and love of God. I am learning that God is not indifferent, and his justice is so great. Every step I make is important to him, and he wants to be present in everyday of my life. In times of doubt and anxiety, God is right there beside me wanting to hold my hand so that I am not alone. His mercy is so great to cover a multitude of sins, and his love extends beyond that to not only forgive but redirect me back into the path he desires for me. God is also teaching me my worth, and my value as his daughter. That is a wonderful thing as well.
Prayer Requests:
-That I can continue to find purpose in my work at the hospital, and look for the daily blessings of living here.
-I only have about 6 more months here. Pray that the Lord will begin to open doors for me in the path he desires for me to go for my future.
Feel free to post any thoughts you have on this post. I love to read them! Hope you are all well. Thanks for reading! With much love until the next time, Malerie
Friday, July 1, 2011
Update....it is summer time!
Hello All!
Once again it has been a while, and I am going to give an update on the last couple of months.
Three weeks ago, my church had a youth conference. It was a neat experience. The youth from my church decided 15 years ago that they wanted to have an event every summer for the other Sala Evangelicas (my church) for the youth. So this was my first time experiencing it. The event included games and food of course. But the topic of the messages were healthy relationships and sexuality out of Romans 12, 1. I really thought it was a good theme, because as we all know, this tends to be a theme little talked about in church, and for youth, particularly highschool age, it is an important thing to talk about. Even moreso here in this culture, that tends to have sexuality bleeding out of every song, TV program, and on the streets. I hope they youth got as much out of it as I did.
A big event that happened at work was the same weekend as the conference. One of my coworkers took a lethal pill to end her life. She left behind a 4 month old daughter. It was a big deal for all of us. Of course they brought her to the hospital, so of course we treated her. But this pill is a chemical that bean farmers use to cure their beans. They put it in a bag of beans after they have been harvested to kill all of the bugs in them. So it is lethal, and the chances of living after ingesting one of these is very little. It was a pretty incredible experience. Just the way that the community of the hospital responded with trying to convince her to repent for her soul in her last moments of life. when i felt it would have been more appropriate to comfort her, and let her know she was cared for. To say the least, I will never forget the experience. Definitely a learning experience. For sure, the next time I see someone struggling financially and emotionally, I will try to do something to help before it arrives to suicide.
My living situation is the same. Still thankful for living in a nice apartment very close to my workplace, I am grateful for that. I have not gotten to do much traveling lately. But I did get to go the last 2 Wednesday to some nursing conferences in the capital Tegucigalpa with some of my colleagues. They were nice trips that gave me some professional input again, and I learned some good stuff. The first time I got to stay with some friends for a day and relax, and that was quite lovely. It also coincided with the time my cousins Mark and Melanie flew back into the country, so I got to welcome them back for a little bit. That was a nice surprise.
Other than that, I continue with supervision in the hospital. Feeling more comfortable with my coworkers, and that is a nice blessing. I am missing my family, and really missing out on the growth of my little neice, only seeing by pictures. She is a real cutie. I mean, I guess I would say that as a proud aunt, right??
Anyways, as always, thanks for reading, and for your support! Post your comments, I love to read them! Much love from Honduras,
Malerie
Once again it has been a while, and I am going to give an update on the last couple of months.
Three weeks ago, my church had a youth conference. It was a neat experience. The youth from my church decided 15 years ago that they wanted to have an event every summer for the other Sala Evangelicas (my church) for the youth. So this was my first time experiencing it. The event included games and food of course. But the topic of the messages were healthy relationships and sexuality out of Romans 12, 1. I really thought it was a good theme, because as we all know, this tends to be a theme little talked about in church, and for youth, particularly highschool age, it is an important thing to talk about. Even moreso here in this culture, that tends to have sexuality bleeding out of every song, TV program, and on the streets. I hope they youth got as much out of it as I did.
A big event that happened at work was the same weekend as the conference. One of my coworkers took a lethal pill to end her life. She left behind a 4 month old daughter. It was a big deal for all of us. Of course they brought her to the hospital, so of course we treated her. But this pill is a chemical that bean farmers use to cure their beans. They put it in a bag of beans after they have been harvested to kill all of the bugs in them. So it is lethal, and the chances of living after ingesting one of these is very little. It was a pretty incredible experience. Just the way that the community of the hospital responded with trying to convince her to repent for her soul in her last moments of life. when i felt it would have been more appropriate to comfort her, and let her know she was cared for. To say the least, I will never forget the experience. Definitely a learning experience. For sure, the next time I see someone struggling financially and emotionally, I will try to do something to help before it arrives to suicide.
My living situation is the same. Still thankful for living in a nice apartment very close to my workplace, I am grateful for that. I have not gotten to do much traveling lately. But I did get to go the last 2 Wednesday to some nursing conferences in the capital Tegucigalpa with some of my colleagues. They were nice trips that gave me some professional input again, and I learned some good stuff. The first time I got to stay with some friends for a day and relax, and that was quite lovely. It also coincided with the time my cousins Mark and Melanie flew back into the country, so I got to welcome them back for a little bit. That was a nice surprise.
Other than that, I continue with supervision in the hospital. Feeling more comfortable with my coworkers, and that is a nice blessing. I am missing my family, and really missing out on the growth of my little neice, only seeing by pictures. She is a real cutie. I mean, I guess I would say that as a proud aunt, right??
Anyways, as always, thanks for reading, and for your support! Post your comments, I love to read them! Much love from Honduras,
Malerie
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Same old...
Greetings!
You know what is really strange? Replying to the questions "how are things?" and replying with "oh, same old, not really too much new happening, work, the gym, church." That is a strange thing to reply when living in a foreign country, because up till just a little while ago, nothing was same old, everything was new. Always. Nothing seemed normal, or comfortable. I think I am thankful for this, because it could just possibly mean that I have reached some sort of adjustment. I'm not positive I'm exactly completely adjusted, but things have become enough routine that I kind of am learning what to expect. I can't even say that I love my work environment. I may have adjusted, but it doesn't mean I really appreciate it, however, at it makes dealing with it a lot easier and better. The problem with this is, it makes me wonder if I'm doing enough to keep things mixed up.
For example, I've gotten this bug that makes me want to get moving and traveling. I haven't left Siguatepeque since my parents left. I feel that I should be taking advantage of my location and seeing more of the country, but I am left with the question "Why and with whom?" I have no travel partner, and it kind of scares me to think of taking off traveling to an unknown location alone. Probably not recommendable either. And perhaps this is a lesson to me of identifying with the Honduran. You'd be surprised to hear how many folks here have never left Honduras, it's small. But it takes money to leave, and of course requires a reason.
I think I want to touch the subject of machismo. According to Mirriam Webster, Machismo is: 1) a strong sense of masculine pride : an exaggerated masculinity 2)an exaggerated or exhilarating sense of power or strength. Machismo is something that is very apparent in the Latino culture, and Honduras is not any different. Many households are dominated by the father/husband, as are in many cultures. I would say it's fair to say that there is a lot of machismo in the traditional Mennonite household. Now, I'm not saying anything against having male leadership in the house, as I see that as a necessary thing. The problem that I see most of all, is that I see the males having pure dominance, without any sort of goodness to back that up. I see it in the way they treat the women. The male's desires and needs always come first, and many times he does not care for the emotions, or even the good of the woman. I see it in the way they treat their girlfriends when they date. I see it in their marriages. I see it in the way they cat call when we walk down the street. But the real kicker is that I see so many men impregnating women, and then disappearing, with no responsibility whatsoever. And it's the woman who gets the public shame for it. And then the man gets commended for how many different children he has planted, with no one asking just how many of those children he helped support, how many of them he clothes, or educated, or was a fatherly presence to. But he must be a real man if he has "fathered" 12 children.
Just tonight I was talking with a very friendly bubbly woman. A daughter of one of my patients. She mentioned the fact that she gets depressed a lot. So, feeling brave I asked her why. She talked about how her machisto husband is very jealous, and does not give her any freedom in her life, not to have friends, not to live her life for her own, and she ends up feeling very alone, and sad. And I think to myself, this is the story of SO many Honduran woman. Another aspect in many households is the infidelity of the man. This is so typical, and I believe it comes out of the thought that "the man should get what the man wants, no matter how much that will hurt his wife."
Thank God not all Latinos are like this, but I would say my complaint right now is that it has such a hold on society here. The women play into it, because that is what they have seen in their histories, and no one has ever told them that they deserve to be treated better. I suppose likewise, the history keeps repeating itself in the man because that is what he was raised in, and his parents never told him to take a different path, because that is what they live as well. I suppose if no one ever raises your consciousness to something, you'll never notice the wrong in it. I guess I feel sorry for the Honduran woman who has to fight this movement everyday, or if she decides to not fight it, than she just accepts it and lives the consequences.
Those are just some reflections. Don't get me wrong, I like a lot of things about Latino culture, but this is one thing that I loathe. I see it hurting the self-esteem of woman all over, I see it hurting my own sometimes. As I get more adjusted here, one has to endure the crappy things about the host culture too, and accepting the poor treatment of woman is something that really bothers me a lot. It's wrong, and really, I don't see the church addressing the issue either.
Matters for prayer:
-My friend Carmen who is having some issues with her pregnancy, that she will feel God's presence close, and that his will be done.
-For my work at the hospital, that I may be able to contribute something positive everyday/every shift.
-Relationship/friendship building
-God's guidance in where I might put my efforts in my last 9 months here.
-Leadership in the hospital, that the people will be able to improve the hospital attendance. We need more patients, and more business, and good management of what we do have.
As always, I love seeing your posts, and any thoughts you might have about this post. Thanks for your continued prayers and support. I love you!!! Thanks for remembering me, and reading my blog.
You know what is really strange? Replying to the questions "how are things?" and replying with "oh, same old, not really too much new happening, work, the gym, church." That is a strange thing to reply when living in a foreign country, because up till just a little while ago, nothing was same old, everything was new. Always. Nothing seemed normal, or comfortable. I think I am thankful for this, because it could just possibly mean that I have reached some sort of adjustment. I'm not positive I'm exactly completely adjusted, but things have become enough routine that I kind of am learning what to expect. I can't even say that I love my work environment. I may have adjusted, but it doesn't mean I really appreciate it, however, at it makes dealing with it a lot easier and better. The problem with this is, it makes me wonder if I'm doing enough to keep things mixed up.
For example, I've gotten this bug that makes me want to get moving and traveling. I haven't left Siguatepeque since my parents left. I feel that I should be taking advantage of my location and seeing more of the country, but I am left with the question "Why and with whom?" I have no travel partner, and it kind of scares me to think of taking off traveling to an unknown location alone. Probably not recommendable either. And perhaps this is a lesson to me of identifying with the Honduran. You'd be surprised to hear how many folks here have never left Honduras, it's small. But it takes money to leave, and of course requires a reason.
I think I want to touch the subject of machismo. According to Mirriam Webster, Machismo is: 1) a strong sense of masculine pride : an exaggerated masculinity 2)an exaggerated or exhilarating sense of power or strength. Machismo is something that is very apparent in the Latino culture, and Honduras is not any different. Many households are dominated by the father/husband, as are in many cultures. I would say it's fair to say that there is a lot of machismo in the traditional Mennonite household. Now, I'm not saying anything against having male leadership in the house, as I see that as a necessary thing. The problem that I see most of all, is that I see the males having pure dominance, without any sort of goodness to back that up. I see it in the way they treat the women. The male's desires and needs always come first, and many times he does not care for the emotions, or even the good of the woman. I see it in the way they treat their girlfriends when they date. I see it in their marriages. I see it in the way they cat call when we walk down the street. But the real kicker is that I see so many men impregnating women, and then disappearing, with no responsibility whatsoever. And it's the woman who gets the public shame for it. And then the man gets commended for how many different children he has planted, with no one asking just how many of those children he helped support, how many of them he clothes, or educated, or was a fatherly presence to. But he must be a real man if he has "fathered" 12 children.
Just tonight I was talking with a very friendly bubbly woman. A daughter of one of my patients. She mentioned the fact that she gets depressed a lot. So, feeling brave I asked her why. She talked about how her machisto husband is very jealous, and does not give her any freedom in her life, not to have friends, not to live her life for her own, and she ends up feeling very alone, and sad. And I think to myself, this is the story of SO many Honduran woman. Another aspect in many households is the infidelity of the man. This is so typical, and I believe it comes out of the thought that "the man should get what the man wants, no matter how much that will hurt his wife."
Thank God not all Latinos are like this, but I would say my complaint right now is that it has such a hold on society here. The women play into it, because that is what they have seen in their histories, and no one has ever told them that they deserve to be treated better. I suppose likewise, the history keeps repeating itself in the man because that is what he was raised in, and his parents never told him to take a different path, because that is what they live as well. I suppose if no one ever raises your consciousness to something, you'll never notice the wrong in it. I guess I feel sorry for the Honduran woman who has to fight this movement everyday, or if she decides to not fight it, than she just accepts it and lives the consequences.
Those are just some reflections. Don't get me wrong, I like a lot of things about Latino culture, but this is one thing that I loathe. I see it hurting the self-esteem of woman all over, I see it hurting my own sometimes. As I get more adjusted here, one has to endure the crappy things about the host culture too, and accepting the poor treatment of woman is something that really bothers me a lot. It's wrong, and really, I don't see the church addressing the issue either.
Matters for prayer:
-My friend Carmen who is having some issues with her pregnancy, that she will feel God's presence close, and that his will be done.
-For my work at the hospital, that I may be able to contribute something positive everyday/every shift.
-Relationship/friendship building
-God's guidance in where I might put my efforts in my last 9 months here.
-Leadership in the hospital, that the people will be able to improve the hospital attendance. We need more patients, and more business, and good management of what we do have.
As always, I love seeing your posts, and any thoughts you might have about this post. Thanks for your continued prayers and support. I love you!!! Thanks for remembering me, and reading my blog.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Wow, it sure is hot!
Greetings! As we enter into summertime here, and I am repeating a season, I am reminded of where I was just one year ago: new with about everything! The mangoes are showing up in the markets as well as the pineapple. It's heating up, and on the coast it's about unbearable, at least for the common citizen of Siguatepeque, who is used to the cooler weather of the mountains. We are pretty dry here, but soon in May will start the rainy season which calms the heat, but brings a lot of wet muddy roads. Life here continues on, pretty tranquil.
The big news in Honduras right now is the teachers on strike, fighting for their rights that the governing is trying to take away from them, their retirement, their funding, etc. This is an ongoing struggle between the teachers and the government. Never getting enough funding, the government embezzling it for their own gain for the rich, and the children get a month or two free from classes. I understand the need for the teachers, but I do shake my fist at Honduras for not putting education in higher esteem. Shoot, the only way this country can get ahead is if they invest in their people instead of their corrupt officials. It's an ongoing fight in 3rd world countries. It's very frustrating, because it seems that Honduras will never get ahead. If they continue in this pattern, the poor will continue to get poorer, less educated, and less able to defend themselves.
I write after having had a nice time here with my parents, who came to visit for a week. It was lovely to be able to share my life here with them, and I'm very grateful for their visit. However, it always leaves me feelings slightly blue after having a nice visit and time away from work. I first brought them here from the airport in San Pedro Sula, and they got to meet the special folks in my life here in Siguatepeque. I took them to a church service at my church here, a tour of the hospital, and we even managed to do some trash pickup in the lot across from my apartment before leaving town. (Honduras is utterly littered with trash, just bad bad bad habit of many folks who never learned to take pride in their country and mother nature, and throw their trash wherever they please.) We went onto the ancient Mayan ruins in Copan, went to the beach for one day in Tela, and then back to the airport they went. Of course, not without a few tears from Mom and me. But it was a good time, and I'm thankful for the safety the Lord gave us, considering we made ourselves all over Honduras in a little Chevy Aveo. No wrecks, and so you know, Honduras has some crazy driving rules. Or better said, lack of rules! So, thankful we had no major incidents.
So back to work I go tomorrow morning to the hospital. I am currently still doing supervision of the students in the hospital, and I am feeling more comfortable in that role, even though it can be awkward at times, because there are things I do not know still. But I suppose God knows why he has me here doing this job.
Other than Mom and Dad's visit, I haven't really had too much new occur lately. Hence, the lack of updating on the blog. Even so though, I send my greetings to all of you, loved ones! Thank you for your continued prayers and support. It is so special getting letters saying that I am remembered in spirit and prayer. I'm pretty sure there is no better way you could be of help to me right now.
With love and peace, Malerie
The big news in Honduras right now is the teachers on strike, fighting for their rights that the governing is trying to take away from them, their retirement, their funding, etc. This is an ongoing struggle between the teachers and the government. Never getting enough funding, the government embezzling it for their own gain for the rich, and the children get a month or two free from classes. I understand the need for the teachers, but I do shake my fist at Honduras for not putting education in higher esteem. Shoot, the only way this country can get ahead is if they invest in their people instead of their corrupt officials. It's an ongoing fight in 3rd world countries. It's very frustrating, because it seems that Honduras will never get ahead. If they continue in this pattern, the poor will continue to get poorer, less educated, and less able to defend themselves.
I write after having had a nice time here with my parents, who came to visit for a week. It was lovely to be able to share my life here with them, and I'm very grateful for their visit. However, it always leaves me feelings slightly blue after having a nice visit and time away from work. I first brought them here from the airport in San Pedro Sula, and they got to meet the special folks in my life here in Siguatepeque. I took them to a church service at my church here, a tour of the hospital, and we even managed to do some trash pickup in the lot across from my apartment before leaving town. (Honduras is utterly littered with trash, just bad bad bad habit of many folks who never learned to take pride in their country and mother nature, and throw their trash wherever they please.) We went onto the ancient Mayan ruins in Copan, went to the beach for one day in Tela, and then back to the airport they went. Of course, not without a few tears from Mom and me. But it was a good time, and I'm thankful for the safety the Lord gave us, considering we made ourselves all over Honduras in a little Chevy Aveo. No wrecks, and so you know, Honduras has some crazy driving rules. Or better said, lack of rules! So, thankful we had no major incidents.
So back to work I go tomorrow morning to the hospital. I am currently still doing supervision of the students in the hospital, and I am feeling more comfortable in that role, even though it can be awkward at times, because there are things I do not know still. But I suppose God knows why he has me here doing this job.
Other than Mom and Dad's visit, I haven't really had too much new occur lately. Hence, the lack of updating on the blog. Even so though, I send my greetings to all of you, loved ones! Thank you for your continued prayers and support. It is so special getting letters saying that I am remembered in spirit and prayer. I'm pretty sure there is no better way you could be of help to me right now.
With love and peace, Malerie
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
So this is the new year!
Happy New Year's! (belated). I apologize every time, but I will do it again. It's amazing if anyone still reads this, because I have been terrible at keeping this up to date. I do believe it is a good sign though. The less time I spend on the internet, the more time I am spending doing other things, hopefully involving my community, work, or friends here I am slowly making in Honduras.
I also have less access to internet now that I have moved! Yes my friend, I have moved. I now share an apartment right off the hospital campus. Really it was an answer to prayer: it gives me my own space, liberty to cook, a great roommate, and is super duper close to the hospital. So I am thankful for the opportunity. But I now do not have the access to the internet that I had earlier. Again, it has it's benefits and disadvantages.
So since the last time I blogged: I no longer am teaching. I tried it, gave it a good shot, and just felt there were too many barriers for making it a success. Language, their level of nursing, my level of nursing, my ability to teach, difference in cultures, systems, all of the above. So I am thankful for the experience, but am also really okay with not continuing in that area. I guess God has a different purpose for me here. Since then, I have tried a new role of "supervision" during the shifts of the first and second year students. The truth of the matter is that the girls really do learn most of their technique on the floor, and sometimes because of lack of staff, lack of presence of vigilance, they sometimes do not perform the way they should be. So my purpose of being in supervision is to be a ready available presence for them when they need help, have questions, and need assistance. I also am trying to fairly evaluate their clinical performance to report to the director of nursing.
How is it going? Oh, I don't know. Truly, I never really feel like I am doing anything how they want, but without further guidance, I am doing it they way I know how, and I haven't received complaints yet. I do think it's really important for the less-skilled and less-confident girls to have someone they can readily ask (without feeling stupid). But this position also really requires a certain amount of sternness as I am in a position of leadership, and that has been a real challenge for me. I am young, I never liked the idea of making myself higher than the others. Especially when many things I do not know better than them, simply because my education is from a different system. I don't always agree with the other leaders on the floor. So I have a lot of internal struggle a lot with whether or not I have any authority at all. At times I claim it and try to instruct accordingly, and then the next second another professional nurse or doctor contradicts what I just said. It truly leaves me with questions on the efficacy of having a foreign nurse come in and try to teach or assist. Or maybe it is just a question of time. But these sorts of experience really make me lose morale sometimes. When you feel for so long that anything you really have to say is "not how they do it here," you sort of start to lose your passion for anything. I have resorted to feeling like maybe the best thing for me is "shift-work" and forget about any hopes of supporting the administration with their efforts. And it's not that I want to be "higher up," I just wanted to be used for the skills God has given me. As many folks serving abroad often wonder, "why exactly am I here, Lord? What would you have me do?" I guess I'll stick to Micah 6:8: "To live justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God." So, how do I do that in my roll? That is the question I must be asking myself.
Last week, had a fellow Wellman, Iowa citizen come through Siguatepeque and visited me for the day, as he was passing through Central America. I was grateful for that visit, and really enjoyed bouncing ideas off each other, as he had lived previously in Honduras for 3 years, and had his own thoughts about Honduran culture, and what that means for missions, the Christian life, and where we go from here.
The weather is getting warmer, the green mangoes are starting to show up in the markets and on the street. Green mangoes are a typical snack where you throw in salt, spices, or hot sauce and nibble as your mouth salivates. Definitely a "oh man, this is so sour! lets do it again" sort of experience. Even better will be in a couple of months when they are ripe! so delicious.
Little by little, I feel like I am establishing friendships and relationships here. And that is such a blessing! I realized the other day I am starting to feel half-comfortable here. I know where to buy my groceries, I know who to call when I need help, I know how to get to church by myself, and my Spanish (although always a ridiculously difficult and often frustrating struggle) is indeed getting better bit by bit. All of this helps lessen the loneliness I often feel.
A note on Honduras. I am learning more and more about the financial state of the people. I am realizing just how hard it is to make any money here. You can work and work, but your money will never get you anywhere. You will never be able to have a savings. Why no savings?? Let me tell you about my good friend (I'll call her Marta to protect her identity) Marta is from a poor village where her father was a bit of drunk, and eventually her parents split up. Marta's dad died young, and her mom has health problems and can no longer work. There is just Marta and her younger sister. (lucky, how many of these same situations have families of 8 or 9??) Marta had the opportunity to go to Hospital Evangelico and study for 3 years. She now is trained to be an auxiliar nurse and can provide for herself. This is awesome, otherwise she may have found herself cleaning houses and selling tortillas the rest of her life. (This is something I like about the hospital, it targets those without opportunities to come to study and work at the hospital.) So Marta is now the only one in her family who is working. She makes around 6,000 Lempiras a month ($315). This pays her rent, she is now trying to register to get her highschool degree, since she only went to middle school before the hospital. her little sister is highschool age, so she wants to send her to school too. At one time she was part of the hospital cooperative where she could take out mini loans, but she had to take out the money she had in it when her grandma got sick. She also has to pay for the medicines her mom needs. So you see?? There is no way Marta can possibly make a savings. The second you save it, is when suddenly someone shows up sick, and what can you do but help them? They are your family.
I have often wondered about why Hondurans manage their money they way they do, more referring to those with very little wage. I could be mistaken, but this is my theory (my friend Caleb helped me think this one up, or rather shared it with me:) Money is like time for them. Whether or not you want to spend it, it ends up going away, so you might as well spend it while you have it. But it's not going to be there when you want it anyway. So money is best invested in what you buy, like, construction, b/c savings just doesn't stay around. It's a very complex subject, but these are just my musings. Culture is so complex, and it's so easy to want to think of all the answers, but you can't solve with answers when you don't understand the problems. And the problems are so complex. Until I spend like 20 years, I have very few answers for the problems of Honduras.
Well, that is all for now. Always a brief summary, a lot happens in a month and a half. But I don't want to bore with huge blogs. So, I welcome any comments, any thoughts, suggestions, and advice, or any words of encouragement as well. As always, keep praying. I need them. Every day, in my decisions, in my words, in my work, in my personal life, in my search for what is good and just living in a different country where things are just not fair.
Blessings!
-Malerie Rose
I also have less access to internet now that I have moved! Yes my friend, I have moved. I now share an apartment right off the hospital campus. Really it was an answer to prayer: it gives me my own space, liberty to cook, a great roommate, and is super duper close to the hospital. So I am thankful for the opportunity. But I now do not have the access to the internet that I had earlier. Again, it has it's benefits and disadvantages.
So since the last time I blogged: I no longer am teaching. I tried it, gave it a good shot, and just felt there were too many barriers for making it a success. Language, their level of nursing, my level of nursing, my ability to teach, difference in cultures, systems, all of the above. So I am thankful for the experience, but am also really okay with not continuing in that area. I guess God has a different purpose for me here. Since then, I have tried a new role of "supervision" during the shifts of the first and second year students. The truth of the matter is that the girls really do learn most of their technique on the floor, and sometimes because of lack of staff, lack of presence of vigilance, they sometimes do not perform the way they should be. So my purpose of being in supervision is to be a ready available presence for them when they need help, have questions, and need assistance. I also am trying to fairly evaluate their clinical performance to report to the director of nursing.
How is it going? Oh, I don't know. Truly, I never really feel like I am doing anything how they want, but without further guidance, I am doing it they way I know how, and I haven't received complaints yet. I do think it's really important for the less-skilled and less-confident girls to have someone they can readily ask (without feeling stupid). But this position also really requires a certain amount of sternness as I am in a position of leadership, and that has been a real challenge for me. I am young, I never liked the idea of making myself higher than the others. Especially when many things I do not know better than them, simply because my education is from a different system. I don't always agree with the other leaders on the floor. So I have a lot of internal struggle a lot with whether or not I have any authority at all. At times I claim it and try to instruct accordingly, and then the next second another professional nurse or doctor contradicts what I just said. It truly leaves me with questions on the efficacy of having a foreign nurse come in and try to teach or assist. Or maybe it is just a question of time. But these sorts of experience really make me lose morale sometimes. When you feel for so long that anything you really have to say is "not how they do it here," you sort of start to lose your passion for anything. I have resorted to feeling like maybe the best thing for me is "shift-work" and forget about any hopes of supporting the administration with their efforts. And it's not that I want to be "higher up," I just wanted to be used for the skills God has given me. As many folks serving abroad often wonder, "why exactly am I here, Lord? What would you have me do?" I guess I'll stick to Micah 6:8: "To live justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God." So, how do I do that in my roll? That is the question I must be asking myself.
Last week, had a fellow Wellman, Iowa citizen come through Siguatepeque and visited me for the day, as he was passing through Central America. I was grateful for that visit, and really enjoyed bouncing ideas off each other, as he had lived previously in Honduras for 3 years, and had his own thoughts about Honduran culture, and what that means for missions, the Christian life, and where we go from here.
The weather is getting warmer, the green mangoes are starting to show up in the markets and on the street. Green mangoes are a typical snack where you throw in salt, spices, or hot sauce and nibble as your mouth salivates. Definitely a "oh man, this is so sour! lets do it again" sort of experience. Even better will be in a couple of months when they are ripe! so delicious.
Little by little, I feel like I am establishing friendships and relationships here. And that is such a blessing! I realized the other day I am starting to feel half-comfortable here. I know where to buy my groceries, I know who to call when I need help, I know how to get to church by myself, and my Spanish (although always a ridiculously difficult and often frustrating struggle) is indeed getting better bit by bit. All of this helps lessen the loneliness I often feel.
A note on Honduras. I am learning more and more about the financial state of the people. I am realizing just how hard it is to make any money here. You can work and work, but your money will never get you anywhere. You will never be able to have a savings. Why no savings?? Let me tell you about my good friend (I'll call her Marta to protect her identity) Marta is from a poor village where her father was a bit of drunk, and eventually her parents split up. Marta's dad died young, and her mom has health problems and can no longer work. There is just Marta and her younger sister. (lucky, how many of these same situations have families of 8 or 9??) Marta had the opportunity to go to Hospital Evangelico and study for 3 years. She now is trained to be an auxiliar nurse and can provide for herself. This is awesome, otherwise she may have found herself cleaning houses and selling tortillas the rest of her life. (This is something I like about the hospital, it targets those without opportunities to come to study and work at the hospital.) So Marta is now the only one in her family who is working. She makes around 6,000 Lempiras a month ($315). This pays her rent, she is now trying to register to get her highschool degree, since she only went to middle school before the hospital. her little sister is highschool age, so she wants to send her to school too. At one time she was part of the hospital cooperative where she could take out mini loans, but she had to take out the money she had in it when her grandma got sick. She also has to pay for the medicines her mom needs. So you see?? There is no way Marta can possibly make a savings. The second you save it, is when suddenly someone shows up sick, and what can you do but help them? They are your family.
I have often wondered about why Hondurans manage their money they way they do, more referring to those with very little wage. I could be mistaken, but this is my theory (my friend Caleb helped me think this one up, or rather shared it with me:) Money is like time for them. Whether or not you want to spend it, it ends up going away, so you might as well spend it while you have it. But it's not going to be there when you want it anyway. So money is best invested in what you buy, like, construction, b/c savings just doesn't stay around. It's a very complex subject, but these are just my musings. Culture is so complex, and it's so easy to want to think of all the answers, but you can't solve with answers when you don't understand the problems. And the problems are so complex. Until I spend like 20 years, I have very few answers for the problems of Honduras.
Well, that is all for now. Always a brief summary, a lot happens in a month and a half. But I don't want to bore with huge blogs. So, I welcome any comments, any thoughts, suggestions, and advice, or any words of encouragement as well. As always, keep praying. I need them. Every day, in my decisions, in my words, in my work, in my personal life, in my search for what is good and just living in a different country where things are just not fair.
Blessings!
-Malerie Rose
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Christmas TIme
Merry Christmas, and happy holidays! Wishes for a profitable and fulfilled upcoming year. I hope you achieve all you want, or at least that you enjoy the next 365 days of the New Year 2011. May you make the most of it. May you make your own reality, and find the peace that comes from following your heart, and where Christ may lead you. That is my Christmas card greeting. I’m sorry, I am just simply not one of those missionaries who’s “on the ball” with e-greetings, etc. I guess I didn’t even think about doing that until now. I think you’ll understand, and bless you for doing that!
Today is the 18th of December 2010. Just a week from Christmas day. Having spent most of the last year here in Honduras, I am pondering how my view of Christmas might look slightly different here. I will be away from my family, and my normal traditions. Certainly no snow. Actually, I’m still not sure exactly how I will be spending the holiday. I will be spending it probably with the Martinez’, who have been my “host family” even though I do not live with them.
It’s strange. I see Christmas decorations, Christmas lights, wreaths, and even some Santa Clauses hanging around, but somehow I find it hard to find “the Christmas Spirit” this year. Or maybe every year one just has to choose to grab the warm fuzzies because circumstances cannot always yield them.
A friend from the church I attend has asked me to help with the Christmas Eve service, so I will be helping and re-oiling my rusty fingers to help play some Christmas hymns. It has been good for me. Sometimes I actually forget that I took 10 years of piano lessons, and that I know how to play music. (Thanks mom for financing that skill in me. I may have taken it for granted, but I am truly thankful for it, even now when I rarely get to use it.) Anyways, so I have been looking at the words of the hymns and trying to see what they might mean to Hondurans and also to myself, living in a different culture, with different rules to life. Here are some thoughts on them.
Away in a manger no crib for his bed. The little Lord Jesus laid down his sweet head. The stars in the sky looked down where he lay. The little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay.
-Could it be that Jesus understands what it means to live in dirty, contaminated, unsanitary conditions? Where there is no clean water, and people sleep in dirt? Could it be that Jesus understands the little children who walk the streets, meanwhile the dirty corrupt politicians ride in their caravan of security guards, inside the security of their fancy car cages? Could it be that Jesus can resonate with the children in the villages who will never have the opportunity of education, and ability to improve their quality of life?
Hark! The herald angels sing, “Glory to the newborn King! Peace on earth and mercy mild, God and sinners reconciled!” Joyful all ye nations rise, Join the triumph of the skies, with angelic hosts proclaim, “Christ is born in Bethlehem!”
-Does the Christ child know what it is to not feel safe leaving your house after dark for fear of the danger and violence? And what is mercy mild? God and sinners reconciled. Not sure what that means either.
A new Christmas song was introduced to me, really beautiful medley that goes together with “Silent Night.” It’s words are pretty typical Christmassy style, but anyways, here they are:
Peace, Peace, Peace on earth and good will to all, This is a time for joy, this is a time for love, Now let us all sing together of peace, peace, peace on earth.
Man, where did these Christmas composers get the idea that because ions of years ago because a little baby was born that a certain time of year we would have peace on earth. That people might suddenly love each other, and stop needless violence. Maybe Christmas is a time where we just express our prayers for these sorts of yearnings. I have become recently very aware of the pointless violence that is raging here in Honduras. Less so here in Siguatepeque than in the big cities, but that does not mean that it isn’t still a problem in Siguat.
Last week I was able to make a trip to visit my friends Adam and Marisa Clymer Shank from my small group at my church “The Table” in Harrisonburg, Virginia, who are now on their own 3 year terms with MCC in Nicaragua. It was a great time to spend some meaningful chats and spending quality time together, also exploring the touristic sights around Managua. Ken and Sue Horst, my VMM tranSend director came down to evaluate my location, give some support, and then accompany me to Managua.
It was a good time of reflection and encouragement.
However, the trip also raised my awareness of the rise in corruption and gang violence. In talking with a “brother” from the church in Tegucigalpa (still in Honduras, on the way down) who drives taxi for a living, I was made aware of the reality. He told us the story of recently getting ‘attacked, or ambushed” by some gang members who took his money, and also demanded 20,000 more Lempiras (about $1,000, a whole lot to demand of any middle to lower class Honduran family) or his family would be the ones to “pay” for it. Of course, this all happened not without physical injury of breaking his clavicle. He had the sling to prove it. (Don’t ask me how safe it was for a broken-clavicle man to be driving, but we’ll disregard that fact.) The taxi driver cried a little bit that morning just in giving us a ride from the guest house to the bus station. I don’t know. It’s just hard to completely identify with that sort of circumstance. I have to deal with the violence by working around it. But for this man it is either work and take the risk of being robbed again, or stop working. Just circumstances I will never have to deal with. If I show up missing, the U.S. embassy will look for me. If I get robbed of all my money, I have a family and a support system that can pull me out. Blessings I have that people here just don’t. This world is so unfair. Why does my friend work from 7 am-7pm and make peanuts for wages, has to support his fatherless family, and have to share a room with his sister. Why did he lose his opportunity for education? Why do some kids get to go to bilingual schools and have the advantage of 2 languages, when the others get less than adequate education, of course only till 6th grade? This life is not fair.
I don’t tell this story to make my mother afraid for my safety. Don’t worry mom, I still live within the gates of the hospital bubble, and live a pretty sheltered life here. But I do reflect on this story, because it can be a pretty desperate situation! When you can’t get any taxi drivers to pick you up at 7 pm because the stop driving beforehand due to the danger of driving at that hour, you kind of get the picture a bit better. This guy said that if it happens to him again, they will have to take his life because he already loaned out all the money he could find to pay the last attack.
So back to my prior statement. “Peace on Earth,” perhaps is the prayer, the cry of the human heart, especially for those who live in a system where the mayors and leaders of the country walk hand in hand with the gang members, the drug cartels and police. It’s pretty hard to see that as anywhere near a possibility when people get guns pointed in their chest to take from them a $15 cellphone, or $10 in cash.
I think the hymn “O Come, O Come Emmanuel has a different meaning to me now that I am no longer in my comfort zone of Wellman, Iowa, or Harrisonburg, VA.
“O come o come Emmanuel, and ransom captive Israel, that mourns in lonely exile here. Until the Son of God appear. O Come thou dayspring, come and cheer, our spirits by thine advent here. Disperse the gloomy clouds of night, and death’s dark shadow put to flight. O Come, desire of nations, bind all people in one heart and mind. Bid envy, strife, and quarrels cease; Fill the whole world with heaven’s peace.”
Ah yes, Heaven’s peace would be nice. Even in my own soul, this hospital, Siguat, Honduras, Central America. The world.
As for a personal update, I again, have let my blogging get quite behind. As I mentioned, I got to take the trip to Nicaragua. I have been putting a fair amount of time into teaching and preparing. Teaching in Spanish is by far one of the most challenging, frustrating things I’ve ever done. However, it’s been a good review of my own nursing knowledge, and a good learning experience, and also special to be able to interact with the girls in this way. These girls are also my co-workers, so it’s kind of a strange experience sometimes, but I’ll take it.
About a week ago we had a Friday night party where the nursing students and the graduated nurses who all live on campus all joined up at the doctor’s house where I live to decorate the Christmas tree, eat pizza, watch a movie, play games, and just enjoy a fun evening. It was a fun event to be a part of. I will say though, the cookies were a disaster. But it was fun anyways.
So it looks like I will be moving to my own apartment here pretty soon. I will still be on campus, but moving into my own little area. If only there was a Goodwill here!!! Apartments here do not come with refrigerators, counters, ovens, or anything. Pretty much a bare shell. So that’s a new challenge trying to find the best deals for these appliances. It’s an investment I wasn’t expecting for sure. I am hoping it will be a positive step for me here.
Hey, did you know it has now been almost been 10 months that I have been here? Thanks to you, my friend. For your prayers, thoughts, emails, and financial support. I am grateful for it. I may fail to keep everyone updated (obviously) but it’s just because I am trying to keep myself involved here, and I forget that maybe some of this stuff might be of interest to my loved ones at home. To be completely honest, having internet has very much kept me in touch with home, and sometimes has me missing the delights of home. But as a dear cousin states, “When in the U.S. we enjoy things that are of the U.S. When we are in Honduras, we enjoy the things of Honduras.” So I am blessed. My mom reminded me of how cool it is that I get to experience Christmas in a different country. How many get to do that? Best to take advantage of it, and enjoy it.
So what are the things of Honduras that I enjoy?
-Espresso Americano: a coffee shop chain that sells the best frappaccino for a about $1.25.
-La comida tipica: tacos, enchiladas, baleadas, flautas for very reasonable prices.
-Friendships made here
-the opportunity to learn Spanish
-Learning healthcare in another culture, and seeing how that works.
-The opportunity to travel a bit, also meeting other foreigners.
-Many others.
Anyways. I do hope you are doing well. You know what's hard? Investing in your current community, but also really wondering what is going on in the lives of your dear friends at home. It's hard for me. Facebook helps a little with that. But nothing, nothing nothing beats a good chat over coffee, a warm handshake a church, a hug at a family get-together. Maybe when I get back we'll have a chance to do that.
Anyways, thank you so much for reading this SUPER long blog update, and reading my musings, even if a bit jumbled. May the holidays be a special time, as you count your blessings, and enjoy where you are at.
Love, Malerie
Today is the 18th of December 2010. Just a week from Christmas day. Having spent most of the last year here in Honduras, I am pondering how my view of Christmas might look slightly different here. I will be away from my family, and my normal traditions. Certainly no snow. Actually, I’m still not sure exactly how I will be spending the holiday. I will be spending it probably with the Martinez’, who have been my “host family” even though I do not live with them.
It’s strange. I see Christmas decorations, Christmas lights, wreaths, and even some Santa Clauses hanging around, but somehow I find it hard to find “the Christmas Spirit” this year. Or maybe every year one just has to choose to grab the warm fuzzies because circumstances cannot always yield them.
A friend from the church I attend has asked me to help with the Christmas Eve service, so I will be helping and re-oiling my rusty fingers to help play some Christmas hymns. It has been good for me. Sometimes I actually forget that I took 10 years of piano lessons, and that I know how to play music. (Thanks mom for financing that skill in me. I may have taken it for granted, but I am truly thankful for it, even now when I rarely get to use it.) Anyways, so I have been looking at the words of the hymns and trying to see what they might mean to Hondurans and also to myself, living in a different culture, with different rules to life. Here are some thoughts on them.
Away in a manger no crib for his bed. The little Lord Jesus laid down his sweet head. The stars in the sky looked down where he lay. The little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay.
-Could it be that Jesus understands what it means to live in dirty, contaminated, unsanitary conditions? Where there is no clean water, and people sleep in dirt? Could it be that Jesus understands the little children who walk the streets, meanwhile the dirty corrupt politicians ride in their caravan of security guards, inside the security of their fancy car cages? Could it be that Jesus can resonate with the children in the villages who will never have the opportunity of education, and ability to improve their quality of life?
Hark! The herald angels sing, “Glory to the newborn King! Peace on earth and mercy mild, God and sinners reconciled!” Joyful all ye nations rise, Join the triumph of the skies, with angelic hosts proclaim, “Christ is born in Bethlehem!”
-Does the Christ child know what it is to not feel safe leaving your house after dark for fear of the danger and violence? And what is mercy mild? God and sinners reconciled. Not sure what that means either.
A new Christmas song was introduced to me, really beautiful medley that goes together with “Silent Night.” It’s words are pretty typical Christmassy style, but anyways, here they are:
Peace, Peace, Peace on earth and good will to all, This is a time for joy, this is a time for love, Now let us all sing together of peace, peace, peace on earth.
Man, where did these Christmas composers get the idea that because ions of years ago because a little baby was born that a certain time of year we would have peace on earth. That people might suddenly love each other, and stop needless violence. Maybe Christmas is a time where we just express our prayers for these sorts of yearnings. I have become recently very aware of the pointless violence that is raging here in Honduras. Less so here in Siguatepeque than in the big cities, but that does not mean that it isn’t still a problem in Siguat.
Last week I was able to make a trip to visit my friends Adam and Marisa Clymer Shank from my small group at my church “The Table” in Harrisonburg, Virginia, who are now on their own 3 year terms with MCC in Nicaragua. It was a great time to spend some meaningful chats and spending quality time together, also exploring the touristic sights around Managua. Ken and Sue Horst, my VMM tranSend director came down to evaluate my location, give some support, and then accompany me to Managua.
It was a good time of reflection and encouragement.
However, the trip also raised my awareness of the rise in corruption and gang violence. In talking with a “brother” from the church in Tegucigalpa (still in Honduras, on the way down) who drives taxi for a living, I was made aware of the reality. He told us the story of recently getting ‘attacked, or ambushed” by some gang members who took his money, and also demanded 20,000 more Lempiras (about $1,000, a whole lot to demand of any middle to lower class Honduran family) or his family would be the ones to “pay” for it. Of course, this all happened not without physical injury of breaking his clavicle. He had the sling to prove it. (Don’t ask me how safe it was for a broken-clavicle man to be driving, but we’ll disregard that fact.) The taxi driver cried a little bit that morning just in giving us a ride from the guest house to the bus station. I don’t know. It’s just hard to completely identify with that sort of circumstance. I have to deal with the violence by working around it. But for this man it is either work and take the risk of being robbed again, or stop working. Just circumstances I will never have to deal with. If I show up missing, the U.S. embassy will look for me. If I get robbed of all my money, I have a family and a support system that can pull me out. Blessings I have that people here just don’t. This world is so unfair. Why does my friend work from 7 am-7pm and make peanuts for wages, has to support his fatherless family, and have to share a room with his sister. Why did he lose his opportunity for education? Why do some kids get to go to bilingual schools and have the advantage of 2 languages, when the others get less than adequate education, of course only till 6th grade? This life is not fair.
I don’t tell this story to make my mother afraid for my safety. Don’t worry mom, I still live within the gates of the hospital bubble, and live a pretty sheltered life here. But I do reflect on this story, because it can be a pretty desperate situation! When you can’t get any taxi drivers to pick you up at 7 pm because the stop driving beforehand due to the danger of driving at that hour, you kind of get the picture a bit better. This guy said that if it happens to him again, they will have to take his life because he already loaned out all the money he could find to pay the last attack.
So back to my prior statement. “Peace on Earth,” perhaps is the prayer, the cry of the human heart, especially for those who live in a system where the mayors and leaders of the country walk hand in hand with the gang members, the drug cartels and police. It’s pretty hard to see that as anywhere near a possibility when people get guns pointed in their chest to take from them a $15 cellphone, or $10 in cash.
I think the hymn “O Come, O Come Emmanuel has a different meaning to me now that I am no longer in my comfort zone of Wellman, Iowa, or Harrisonburg, VA.
“O come o come Emmanuel, and ransom captive Israel, that mourns in lonely exile here. Until the Son of God appear. O Come thou dayspring, come and cheer, our spirits by thine advent here. Disperse the gloomy clouds of night, and death’s dark shadow put to flight. O Come, desire of nations, bind all people in one heart and mind. Bid envy, strife, and quarrels cease; Fill the whole world with heaven’s peace.”
Ah yes, Heaven’s peace would be nice. Even in my own soul, this hospital, Siguat, Honduras, Central America. The world.
As for a personal update, I again, have let my blogging get quite behind. As I mentioned, I got to take the trip to Nicaragua. I have been putting a fair amount of time into teaching and preparing. Teaching in Spanish is by far one of the most challenging, frustrating things I’ve ever done. However, it’s been a good review of my own nursing knowledge, and a good learning experience, and also special to be able to interact with the girls in this way. These girls are also my co-workers, so it’s kind of a strange experience sometimes, but I’ll take it.
About a week ago we had a Friday night party where the nursing students and the graduated nurses who all live on campus all joined up at the doctor’s house where I live to decorate the Christmas tree, eat pizza, watch a movie, play games, and just enjoy a fun evening. It was a fun event to be a part of. I will say though, the cookies were a disaster. But it was fun anyways.
So it looks like I will be moving to my own apartment here pretty soon. I will still be on campus, but moving into my own little area. If only there was a Goodwill here!!! Apartments here do not come with refrigerators, counters, ovens, or anything. Pretty much a bare shell. So that’s a new challenge trying to find the best deals for these appliances. It’s an investment I wasn’t expecting for sure. I am hoping it will be a positive step for me here.
Hey, did you know it has now been almost been 10 months that I have been here? Thanks to you, my friend. For your prayers, thoughts, emails, and financial support. I am grateful for it. I may fail to keep everyone updated (obviously) but it’s just because I am trying to keep myself involved here, and I forget that maybe some of this stuff might be of interest to my loved ones at home. To be completely honest, having internet has very much kept me in touch with home, and sometimes has me missing the delights of home. But as a dear cousin states, “When in the U.S. we enjoy things that are of the U.S. When we are in Honduras, we enjoy the things of Honduras.” So I am blessed. My mom reminded me of how cool it is that I get to experience Christmas in a different country. How many get to do that? Best to take advantage of it, and enjoy it.
So what are the things of Honduras that I enjoy?
-Espresso Americano: a coffee shop chain that sells the best frappaccino for a about $1.25.
-La comida tipica: tacos, enchiladas, baleadas, flautas for very reasonable prices.
-Friendships made here
-the opportunity to learn Spanish
-Learning healthcare in another culture, and seeing how that works.
-The opportunity to travel a bit, also meeting other foreigners.
-Many others.
Anyways. I do hope you are doing well. You know what's hard? Investing in your current community, but also really wondering what is going on in the lives of your dear friends at home. It's hard for me. Facebook helps a little with that. But nothing, nothing nothing beats a good chat over coffee, a warm handshake a church, a hug at a family get-together. Maybe when I get back we'll have a chance to do that.
Anyways, thank you so much for reading this SUPER long blog update, and reading my musings, even if a bit jumbled. May the holidays be a special time, as you count your blessings, and enjoy where you are at.
Love, Malerie
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