Culture Shock

Probably the worst part of culture shock for me is that my rationale does not function correctly. The worst part is that I find myself getting angry at Honduras for being so confusing and difficult to adjust to. For example, I find myself getting frustrated with the hospital staff because I can't understand them all the time, and they often can't understand me. Is this their fault? NO! Of course it's not. I do wish that some would take the time to listen to what I am saying, even though it takes a bit to get out my thoughts. I find people assuming what I'm trying to say, and it's not at all. Or is it just that I am saying my thoughts completely wrong??

I think I am feeling the normal cycle of adjustment difficulties. I don't like the way that the hospital operates, or is it that I am missing part of the process? See what I mean? So not only am I frustrated at the way the hospital operates, but more I'm frustrated, because I am confused most of the time. Or am I frustrated just because it operates differently from how I was trained, and suddenly I have to become as Jesus preached, "becoming like a child to enter the kingdom of heaven." This is, apparently, required when trying to function in another system/culture. Oh the joy of crossing cultures.

This week I looked in the mirror in the bathroom and thought to myself "an American girl (gringa) with less than sufficient Spanish working in a Spanish speaking hospital in Honduras. What in the world was I thinking? God, why did you call me here?"
So this is what I mean when I say, "You can discuss all you want about how one should react when crossing cultures, but you never know how you will actually react until you feel the chaos and craziness of trying to adapt to a new culture." Oh man.

This week has been a mix of observing surgery (which I still get whoozy when watching) working in the hospital, and observing specialist doctors see patients. Today I got into a baking madness as I made some chocolate cake and carrot cake for a going-away party for a new friend. Sounds like a small thing, but it was fun again, doing familiar things, even as simple as cooking and baking while listening to music help me to feel normal.

Speaking of feeling normal, today a patient just asked me if I was from the United States, and I was stupidly annoyed. I just wanted to be like, "uh, yeah! I do look pretty American don't I? I've got the American accent, isn't it obvious? Wanna say it a little louder to point out that I'm the foreigner who hasn't a clue what is going on?!?!?!" I didn't say it, knowing full well the patient was just being friendly, and I was once again, getting irrationally angry. I'm thinking of dying my hair black just so people have to second guess whether I'm American or not. There are a lot of really light-skinned Hondurans here. Then I remembered I really should just be who I am. That's probably what I do best....who knows. Black hair might be all right though :) Kidding...not on this gringa.

I have been blessed to be part of an English speaking Bible Study where we are studying the book of James. I have been super tired this week, also battling some bronchitis (which once again, I am on antibiotics), so I really was considering skipping, but am glad I didn't. I was blessed with the input of my fellow expats from the U.S. and Canada. By the way, fluids and rest doesn't always work to get rid of minor sicknesses. I have always stood by it, but a week later, here I am with respiratory junk. If you know m well, my answer to almost everything is rest and fluids. :) Proven wrong, again, that seems to happen a lot lately.

Another difficulty: PRODUCTIVITY! So, the U.S. has been blessed with an impecable ability to made most everything efficient and productive! Yes, it's become a bit of curse as I realize that it is now a crippler as I just want everything to work efficiently. I want to leave work and feel like I've been productive, and that time was spent well. TIME! To me, when I show up to work, I want to work, I don't want to take time for breakfast, I don't want to chill. If there is time to chill, then I'd rather be chilling at home. Work is not the place to chill. I went to work today at 7:00 as that's when the nurses get there to prepare for the dr who starts seeing patients at...........9:00. What? Since when does it take 2 hours to prepare for the day? Exactly, it doesn't. It should take 30-45 minutes...Maybe. So what does this tell you? It says that my mind is programmed to think of time differently. It can drive me crazy if I let it. So, that's what I"m trying to do: allow my mentality to change while in Honduras. It doesn't drive the Hondurans crazy, so why should it drive me crazy? Because I'm used to a very efficient schedule when it comes to healthcare. This is a HUGE change when patients come with appointments for the day, but no hour. Which means they will very well wait 4-8 hours sometimes to see a specialist, which of course I feel could all be solved with making hour appointments.....but what do I know? I'm a 23 year old American full of pipe-dreams, how many of those could or even SHOULD be reality though? That's my question.

The good news? I think I might be normal. It sounds like this is the typical tract for most people when moving to a new country, with a new language and a new culture. I certainly don't FEEL normal, but who ever said we should trust feelings? Exactly. They have always said to not live by your feelings at the moment.

Well, I need to go check on my carrot cake. Thanks for reading my venting session. :0) I hope you are well in whatever you are doing, and that you feel peace that you are where you need to be. If you don't, maybe you should move to Honduras. That'll learn ya! ;)
Blessings!

Week 3 in summary

Hello!
This picture is the much requested proof of me wearing my cofia. And my complete uniform. Whoever thought that it was a good idea to make medical professionals wear white didn't realize that nursing involves lots of body fluids--and stains. But whatever, I'm over it. :0)
This week has proved to be an enjoyable one as I got to visit the aspects of our PROSEC project here, which I don't know what it stands for, but it's our community health outreach, which involves daily visits to a clinic 15 minutes out, and also our mobile clinic, which this week involved a trip to a town 4 hours out. Tiring, but interesting.
The mobile clinic is really cool as it is especially affordable for consults, meds, and dental attention. Friday involved loading the truck on a ferry across a river to travel to the village. Care is pretty routine with respiratory infections, urinary tract infections, female cares, diarrhea, body aches, etc. Usually nothing too serious that some tylenol and antibiotics can't fix. At least, that's my understanding so far. Of course, there's always always the chance that I missed a lot of what the patients say. Next week is orienting to the general floor.
Spanish, well you know, continuously a challenge. Trying to be easier on myself and be okay with not understanding, and feeling silly for not. I'll be glad for the day when I feel comfortable with it.
I'm looking forward to Semana Santa (Holy Week) as it is a national holiday here, and I will be traveling somewhere (unknown at this time) to meet up with my friend Erin who is serving in Guatemala with SALT. I'll be glad to get some traveling in with a good friend.
I'm starting to miss certain things in the U.S. as spring is coming around, which is always a fun time in both VA and IA. But again, thankful that God has put me here, as I know I am growing and learning all sorts of things I'll look back and be thankful for. I am just starting up here, and am just starting to learn what it means to be effective in another culture. Need a lot more time for this one! But I have been blessed with a supportive community to be apart of, as well, as the community of friends and family I have sending emails and messages. Always glad for those.

Well, I think that's all for this week. Much love sent from here.

Rough day at the hospital

So this week I get the opportunity to work alongside a urologist from Boston as he can use some extra help with translating. I have gotten to learn a lot a lot of new cool things about the urinary system, and all sorts of tricks regarding the prostate gland and kidney stones.
I'm starting to see just how good we have it in the states. Part of why costs are so so high is because of the amount of waste we have. I'm blown away by their ability to use and reuse. But also, you probably would never experience your prostate resecting tool to go out part way through a surgery, and have no resources in how to go about getting it fixed for the 10 other surgeries scheduled this week. Praying that God will provide. So many of these men we are seeing REALLY need this surgery. Many have walked around with a foley catheter in for months at a time. One I think had it for 9 months?? You can tell the poorer ones b/c they don't even have a bag attached. Just a plug that they empty when their bladder gets full. Not a good or safe situation. Also, so much of the technology available in the states is super duper expensive. Here, if you can't afford it, it's unfortunate. We just don't get to have it. Simple stone-blasting lithotripsy is something we here can just not afford.
I'm also witnessing the long-suffering of many of the patients we see. Some have been living with pain related to kidney stones for close to a year. I've never had kidney stones, but I've heard they can be quite excruciating. I can't even imagine having to live with that for so long.
I also learned that bladder tumors are pretty directly related to smoking and second-hand smoke. So, be careful! Also for older men who are having trouble with hesitancy, lay off the coffee. It should help some. :) haha. Sorry girls, don't have any good urinary advice for you. :)
So after attempting translating most of the day and getting to watch this surgery, I'm pretty tired. I would like to go grocery shopping, but simply am too lazy to go out and do it. I'm so spoiled and used to hopping in the car, going to Food Lion or whatever, throwing my stuff in the car and coming home. No no, here it's walking a bit and taxi-ing or whatever. Not that hard, but you know, as I said, I'm tired! :) pobrecita.
anyways, these are just some of the tidbits that I am experiencing here at the hospital. Things are interesting, and always something to learn, which keeps me inspired! The doctor today reminded me of ways to be successful in serving your patients. a) be on top of your game and know your stuff. Read your nursing journal and stay on top of what is going on in your field b) have empathy for what they are probably feeling. Really for the first time, I'm starting to really see a need to do more studies, even if its independent research just so that I can know better how to care for people.
Thanks so much for your encouraging words and posts! It always brings a smile to my face.
Blessings to you, and peace as well.

Finally Here!

Hello! I am happy to be able to be writing this first blog here in Sigua after my 5th complete day. You can probably guess a lot of what my feelings have been since I got here late Thursday evening. Excitement, Embarrassment, Worry. Can you believe it? I've even felt timid! Probably my biggest thing right now is trying to learn Spanish, of course. People have been gracious, but it seems even my simple vocab I learned back in highschool has left me, and my ability to conjugate verbs properly is also a challenge. But, as they have encouraged me, "Poco a Poco Malerie." Little by little I will learn.

So the basics of what's up:

I am living in the house of one of the doctors and his wife who is a nurse. They have been so good to me in helping me get organized with buying a simple cell phone to trying to get the internet for my computer, (we've been so far unsuccessful) getting my nurse's hat, a bank account, introducing me to people, etc. Also their niece lives with them too who is in the university studying. So I have a friend here.

There is a dorm on campus here for single nurses to live in. Probably in a month or so I will move there when I am more independent and can figure things out for my own. This house is really nice to live in, and feels like such a safe-haven. But it will be good for me to live with other nurses and find new Honduras friends. It will also help me get out and about a bit, b/c I will have to.

This is a community with a huge Christian influence. There aren't Mennonites in this area. The denomination I think is called Central American. Im not really all that well-oriented to it yet. But there are many opportunities to get involved with Bible Studies and such. These are not just Sunday morning Christians, that is for sure. They live and employ what they believe. A very nice group of people to work with.

The hospital is run completely different from what I am used to, which is to be expected. The nurses wear nurse hats which I am too. I get a black ribbon on mine b/c I'm a professional nurse, versus the auxiliar nurses who wear green. Pictures to come later. The doctors have been very nice and very friendly in welcoming me to the staff. I feel really dumb a lot due to my Spanish limitations, but they haven't made me feel bad in the least. The hospital is closely intwined to their nursing school so the students work alongside the nurses. Truly with me though, "student becomes teacher." I have to ask them all the questions. I'm super impressed with their resourcefulness. The way they sanitize and reuse stuff is actually really refreshing to me. For example, today I was helping with an EKG, and I went to throw the sticker tabs away and the student was like, 'oh, we reuse those." It never even occurred to me.

I have a whole lot to learn there, but again, "poco a poco."

I hope to soon become braver and start to explore the community outside of the hospital soon. My 'host brother' told me that I shouldn't rush the adaptation process, so I feel okay about not getting out too fast. I'll get there for sure.

The weather is so pleasant here. The mornings are a bit chilly, but the days are pleasantly warm and sunny. I love it. I did catch a small bout of bronchitis (I guess) maybe with the change of air, etc. I never felt sick, but the doctor went ahead and prescribed amoxicillin. Okay. Sure guess I'd rather do that then get a worse cough or something.

Matters for prayer if you're the prayin' kind: :)

-Spanish skills, and that they come quickly

-patience for myself. Realization that cross-cultural adaptation does not happen in 1 week.

-Norma and Enrique, my host parents who are actually in California for missions week. For their safety and contribution.

I have enjoyed getting emails and facebook posts from some of you. I'll continue to update as I can. Blessings to you! A big hug from me in Honduras.

Departure Date:

FEBRUARY 25!!! It moved up, just so you know, if you didn't before. So--9 days! :)

Opening Blog

Welcome to my blog that I have made for the purpose of communication and updating during my trip and life in Honduras for the next 2 years!! I hope I can write in a way that will entertain you, and also fill you in on what I am up to.

Of course, I'm not there yet. My estimated date of departure at this time is March 1, 2010. But I figure now is the time to get these sorts of things in order. And my blog looked so empty without any posts at all! I will warn you, I can get pretty honest, especially online. So you will probably read the awesome and not so awesome parts of living in Honduras. Of course, there will only be good things, right?! :)

As of now, I am really just chomping at the bits, anxious about getting my stuff in order for the next 2 years of my life, yet also trying to maximize my time here in Iowa....more to come!